Oof yes. this one hit. Thank you for sharing <3 Also for the awareness that is oozing out of this, love to see it!!
I don't think I have experienced mania to quite the degree you're describing but I definitely go through waves of obsessing over specific things. I also used to make this fact SO WRONG ~ "why can't I just focus on one thing in the long term". Now I think I've come to something close to grace/appreciation of my breadth of skills/enjoyment, albeit in stops + starts.
For me, healthy creativity feels more flowy and soft and experience driven, rather than hard, sharp and "goal-oriented" (read: results at all costs). This is obviously VERY much a work in progress but it feels so much better in my body and also I can see more clearly how everything is contributing to the whole, as opposed to getting completely taken out when something inevitably goes sideways.
I love the connection you made to relationship/coaching as evidence of what you're already capable of reworking ~ it gives me hope.
Thanks Jess!! Yea the "results at all costs" method makes it hard t be sustainable. Only certain types of people can operate this way naturally. But even then, I don't think it's the most healthy. I have a friend who used to be this way, and then had some experiences that changed them... made them much more grounded and aware and sensitive... and now they are having trouble producing results. I'm like, HEY WELCOME TO THE CLUB. MrBeast is a very "results at all costs" type of person, and I heard him say in a podcast interview that... if he was a vlogger (if he was making things that were PERSONAL) he wouldn't be able to produce the way he does. His videos are less art, more science. The science of audience retention, specifically. He is gaming a system to the point of changing/inventing the system itself. Artists aren't necessarily looking to do that.
Bahaha "Welcome to the Club" indeed 😂 and yes I 100% agree ~ personal creations seem to involve a lot more internal invisible work (or unpacking maybe is the better word). Although I love the concept of "gaming the system to the point of changing/inventing the system" ~ perhaps there's a Sci-Art balance to be struck with that in mind
I do feel this, but it’s in concentrated surges so they are easier to come back to. Writing fanfic, guitar, and coding are just a few of things on the list that I delved into with a manic energy, only to have completely dropped them for several months (or years, in the case of fanfic).
I’m not entirely sure of the trick on this either, but allowing myself the grace to allow the pieces to fall and pick back up when I’m feeling up to it has helped me. I’ve gotten about three chapters written to pick back up on the fic I started during the pandemic (which I’m sure was a big catalyst to the mania I personally felt as someone who always feels the need to keep busy) and I know where I want it to go, but I want to finish it completely before posting on a schedule so I don’t end up back at this point again.
I’ve picked back up on guitar and coding thanks to paying for accountability in the form of apps that give me access to courses and I try to do either at least twice a week.
I don’t think this is a “one size fits all” solution, nor do I think such an idea exist, but I do think sustainable creativity is accessible. And I would argue you are on your way to figuring it out 💚
Thanks so much, M! Yeah, I mean, as someone who edited my fanfic for years, you know all about my mania in that area :D 12 chapters in one week is not normal LOL.
You said something that particularly struck me... "as someone who always feels the need to keep busy"
This resonates, and I feel that for many of us, this is a compulsion at this point. One that was severely exacerbated by the pandemic, but was already here nonetheless. No wonder the "Great Resignation" occurred, and many people don't want to work their soul-sucking jobs. It's interesting though, because I have never had a "soul-sucking job" and yet I find ways of creating that experience regardless. I am my own tyrannical boss!
Thanks for that last... I appreciate the acknowledgement, and I can feel the truth in it <3
When I was younger I would get obsessed about things ALL THE TIME! As an adult not so much. I can only obsess so much about something before i lose interest. Once I like something, I always run and tell my close friends about it. If they show interest, that's usually when I delve deeper, but as adults everyone is living their own lives and is pressed for time. I feel like there's levels to obsessing over something. I only really get entry level obsession nowadways, but every now and then i will experience full on mania.
I can relate with not being able to stay focused on one thing, and used to feel bad about it, but now the way I look at it is that it's allowed me to try lots of new things. Sure I could be successful if I could just focus on one thing and get good at it, but I want to do everything all the time, so I just do what I can.
That’s lovely, Eddie. A great way to think about it! And that’s so interesting, what you shared about needing others to be into it too. I feel that. I guess I had enough other people (strangers) online who were interested in the same things as me to keep me going. Even if my friends aren’t into it, I keep going. Off on my own in a little Michelle bubble 🤣 it’s been this way for a long time so I suppose I just have practice
this was amazing Michelle. i can relate to constantly finding interests and changing between them. i found out that that’s actually a symptom of ADHD. i wondered why i struggled with the same thing until my life old coach who also suffers from ADHD brought it to my attention.. She wasn’t diagnosing just bringing awareness to my attention. But i could relate to so much of this post.
This content you’re sharing is amazing and thank you for letting us into your world. And i love all the Halsey references. They were just perfect and fit beautifully.
And I’ve always wanted to do the song lyric thing but it felt forced. This time I just wrote down the lyric that was playing while I was on each section if I particularly noticed it, and it worked out!!
Oof yes. this one hit. Thank you for sharing <3 Also for the awareness that is oozing out of this, love to see it!!
I don't think I have experienced mania to quite the degree you're describing but I definitely go through waves of obsessing over specific things. I also used to make this fact SO WRONG ~ "why can't I just focus on one thing in the long term". Now I think I've come to something close to grace/appreciation of my breadth of skills/enjoyment, albeit in stops + starts.
For me, healthy creativity feels more flowy and soft and experience driven, rather than hard, sharp and "goal-oriented" (read: results at all costs). This is obviously VERY much a work in progress but it feels so much better in my body and also I can see more clearly how everything is contributing to the whole, as opposed to getting completely taken out when something inevitably goes sideways.
I love the connection you made to relationship/coaching as evidence of what you're already capable of reworking ~ it gives me hope.
Thanks Jess!! Yea the "results at all costs" method makes it hard t be sustainable. Only certain types of people can operate this way naturally. But even then, I don't think it's the most healthy. I have a friend who used to be this way, and then had some experiences that changed them... made them much more grounded and aware and sensitive... and now they are having trouble producing results. I'm like, HEY WELCOME TO THE CLUB. MrBeast is a very "results at all costs" type of person, and I heard him say in a podcast interview that... if he was a vlogger (if he was making things that were PERSONAL) he wouldn't be able to produce the way he does. His videos are less art, more science. The science of audience retention, specifically. He is gaming a system to the point of changing/inventing the system itself. Artists aren't necessarily looking to do that.
My Co-Star (astrology) app just gave me today's comment after I replied and it felt in line with what I wrote:
"Things can be messy and painful when you care about what's at stake"
Bahaha "Welcome to the Club" indeed 😂 and yes I 100% agree ~ personal creations seem to involve a lot more internal invisible work (or unpacking maybe is the better word). Although I love the concept of "gaming the system to the point of changing/inventing the system" ~ perhaps there's a Sci-Art balance to be struck with that in mind
I do feel this, but it’s in concentrated surges so they are easier to come back to. Writing fanfic, guitar, and coding are just a few of things on the list that I delved into with a manic energy, only to have completely dropped them for several months (or years, in the case of fanfic).
I’m not entirely sure of the trick on this either, but allowing myself the grace to allow the pieces to fall and pick back up when I’m feeling up to it has helped me. I’ve gotten about three chapters written to pick back up on the fic I started during the pandemic (which I’m sure was a big catalyst to the mania I personally felt as someone who always feels the need to keep busy) and I know where I want it to go, but I want to finish it completely before posting on a schedule so I don’t end up back at this point again.
I’ve picked back up on guitar and coding thanks to paying for accountability in the form of apps that give me access to courses and I try to do either at least twice a week.
I don’t think this is a “one size fits all” solution, nor do I think such an idea exist, but I do think sustainable creativity is accessible. And I would argue you are on your way to figuring it out 💚
Thanks so much, M! Yeah, I mean, as someone who edited my fanfic for years, you know all about my mania in that area :D 12 chapters in one week is not normal LOL.
You said something that particularly struck me... "as someone who always feels the need to keep busy"
This resonates, and I feel that for many of us, this is a compulsion at this point. One that was severely exacerbated by the pandemic, but was already here nonetheless. No wonder the "Great Resignation" occurred, and many people don't want to work their soul-sucking jobs. It's interesting though, because I have never had a "soul-sucking job" and yet I find ways of creating that experience regardless. I am my own tyrannical boss!
Thanks for that last... I appreciate the acknowledgement, and I can feel the truth in it <3
When I was younger I would get obsessed about things ALL THE TIME! As an adult not so much. I can only obsess so much about something before i lose interest. Once I like something, I always run and tell my close friends about it. If they show interest, that's usually when I delve deeper, but as adults everyone is living their own lives and is pressed for time. I feel like there's levels to obsessing over something. I only really get entry level obsession nowadways, but every now and then i will experience full on mania.
I can relate with not being able to stay focused on one thing, and used to feel bad about it, but now the way I look at it is that it's allowed me to try lots of new things. Sure I could be successful if I could just focus on one thing and get good at it, but I want to do everything all the time, so I just do what I can.
That’s lovely, Eddie. A great way to think about it! And that’s so interesting, what you shared about needing others to be into it too. I feel that. I guess I had enough other people (strangers) online who were interested in the same things as me to keep me going. Even if my friends aren’t into it, I keep going. Off on my own in a little Michelle bubble 🤣 it’s been this way for a long time so I suppose I just have practice
this was amazing Michelle. i can relate to constantly finding interests and changing between them. i found out that that’s actually a symptom of ADHD. i wondered why i struggled with the same thing until my life old coach who also suffers from ADHD brought it to my attention.. She wasn’t diagnosing just bringing awareness to my attention. But i could relate to so much of this post.
This content you’re sharing is amazing and thank you for letting us into your world. And i love all the Halsey references. They were just perfect and fit beautifully.
Thank you for this.
Thanks so much, Katie ☺️ for all of this 💚
And I’ve always wanted to do the song lyric thing but it felt forced. This time I just wrote down the lyric that was playing while I was on each section if I particularly noticed it, and it worked out!!